Crossdressing advice for partners, families and friends of crossdressers
Partners Family and Friends
The initial shock wave.
My husband/fiancee/boyfriend/partner/Dad/ Grandfather/ brother/ uncle/best friend is a cross-dresser !
I don’t know what to think, I don’t know what to do, I would have never expected this from him!! I don’t wish to know anymore, because in my head I have too many questions, but I am soo ashamed of him and embarrassed to ask him why?
“Lets never speak of this again”
The door is closed but nothing is addressed for you or for him
You may have noticed it’s all about how you feel and your feeling’s and yes ok it has shocked you. But the reason he wants to share this very delicate information with you, is because he trusts you, loves you and can’t take the pain of lying to you anymore.
Your husband /fiancee/ boyfriend/partner/Dad/Grandfather/brother/uncle/best friend, has probably had this bottled up for years! Most likely since his childhood. Just because he dresses it doesn’t make him any different to the person you have known for years.
But why does he do it?
Most individuals ask themselves this question a million times over the many years they have cross dressed, and the answer is simple. It just feels right, and they enjoy it.
There is so much stigma and judgement in the air surrounding men dressing as women maybe less so in latter years as society has started to overcome their prejudice and fear.
But crossdressing is still misunderstood by a large segment of the population, and they do not understand that cross dressing is not confined to one sort of person or for the same reason.
For years crossdressers have remained in the shadows, fearful of coming out in public with a secret they have been hiding since they were a child. When all they want is to be allowed to express their female self. Most don’t want to live their lives fully as a woman they just wish to be accepted. Keeping this secrecy has been their main concern and has defined probably the best part of their lives. Not wanting to be humiliated, taunted or even threatened publicly.
Is it the secrecy of cross-dresser’s that makes the act appear to be deviant to others?
Or is it societies fear of accepting something which is “not the norm” therefor making it completely unacceptable in some peoples eyes. The question to ask yourself is what do you fear?
Having given makeovers to a lot of guys now, all from different walks of life and religions. We have asked them all the questions you want to ask them, and they are so happy and confident in giving us their answers. The best thing is most of the answers we get are all different. Here’s the learning if you don’t bother to ask those very important questions you will never understand.
From the majority of cross dressers we have spoken with we would say 70% will say they have been cross dressing from the age of 4 years old!! 20% in their teens the other 10% later in life. A typical answer to why do you do it is. “I don’t know why, I just wanted to try it”
Most people also think because a man cross dresses this automatically changes his sexuality? Why do people put 2 & 2 together? My answer, once again from our experience, we would say is this is not the case.
Many crossdressers are straight and in a loving relationship they just want to explore clothes and why not. We can understand fully why men would want to explore beautiful things just like women do.
Chat to him, make him feel more comfortable, let him tell you his own reasons, don’t ridicule don’t judge remember it’s not about you it is about him and a true loving relationship will support each other no matter what.
A lot of men Just love women’s fashion, or how makeup can transform a face, or feel more confident going out for a night out on the town dressed, they go to to LGBT friendly areas (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) having done the mainstream areas (Guy mode) and feeling it’s ALWAYS the same, so loving the areas pubs, clubs, and restaurants where there is always a happy and friendly environment.
Having the chat is a great start give him the freedom to be open and honest
If he says he doesn’t know we are sure he actually means exactly that.
He is still finding out about himself and is basically asking you for help and support.
You will want answers, but how can someone give you an answer if they don’t know the answer themselves.
We do hope this little write up will help you and your partner.
Talking is the key to everything in life, bottling things up is unhealthy for you all.